that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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