Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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