this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
