i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My cat gives me a boner
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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