Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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