But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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