Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
