break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
