How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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