I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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