I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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