I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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