is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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