I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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