weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just cropdusted the office
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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