your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Someone signed my nipple.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
