i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
