I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize