So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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