Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
