WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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