is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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