i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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