they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
