I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
