We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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