I wanna passion pit in your ass
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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