i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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