dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
