Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
