Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
