YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
