i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
