She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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