I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
