I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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