You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
