And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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