operation have a gay friend backfired
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
