I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just high enough for therapy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
