You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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