is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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