when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
