I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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