where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
