you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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