There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
