I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
