No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Randomize
