I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
