Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
