it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
