Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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