Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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